If you've got dreams in your heart, why don't you share them with me?

It's not Today

. The boyf is out of town. :)
I miss him already, but this is beside the point.

Thank you for being in my life.

He Makes Me Happy

Sometimes, you have to bar them.

You&I.
You&I.

I also noticed (on this boring Saturday, because i make it so) that i have been blogging more about the boyfriend, and i wonder to myself, if we are going to last or it will just be another chapter in our lives where we both go..."oh yea, i used to date him, it was alright". but what is the line between alright and fuckamazing? i can say i love you's in a dozen different ways and you, too in your own ways show me how naked and bare i can be but at the end of the day, how do we know for a certainty this love story would end with a happy ending, or a i-never-want-to-see-you again?

that's the beauty of it no? We will never know; not because we don't want to, but because we can't. it's an elusive creature, the ending. and i am beginning to realise that. i have this habit of mine where i read the ending of a book first, before proceeding to the beginning, the middle. i will not be able to read in peace without the knowledge of the ending. thats how i peruse the last book of harrypotter, lordoftherings, all the books that i have come to love or those that had dissipated into the realm of unfulfilled satisfaction. at first, i wanted badly to discover the ending of this love story. but of course, in vain. i am not God - i am not planning to be one.

perhaps that's why we -both women and men- are inherently jealous, hurtful, obsessive, possessive, insecure and all the negative (lets put aside the positive for now) emotions that we seem to own. the ending is lost on us. Imagine, if you know that Mr. A would be the one you marry, the one you will throw tantrums at, have kids, and grow old in that disgusting sweet manner that old couples usually do, would you be going through the ups and downs of a relationship? The one where you wonder and ponder if he loves you as much you love him, or if he sees you in the light of how you see him? Mr. B, C, D wouldn't make a difference, no? You, already know. Note the paltable difference.

I can imagine his reaction. But oh, shush. I am beginning to learn that life is not always bout the ending and that each moment - in its own place and time- has its significance, and honestly, i don't like being in the dark but i am starting to appreciate the nows, and not wonder about the unknown future anyways. Of course, i falter from time to time and sometimes i get pissed off with my own incapabilities to control my train of thoughts like how perhaps his past lovers are better than me in more ways than one and how i don't fulfill his needs or make him unhappy or sad(wtf they're synonyms)...but cut to the point, i love him, and i am in love, this emotion is new and daunting and yet exhilarating at the same time, and the point, the point is, i love him and that should be all that matters. That we both love each other at this very moment.

The night.

Birthday Boy and Prom

<3 Mr. Boyfriend.

Wed, Thurs, Fri - KL with the family.

Event : PFS Orientation Ball / Senior Prom
Theme : Black Ties & Diamonds
Venue : Eastern & Oriental Hotel (Grand Ballroom)
Day : Friday
Date : 10th of July 2009

Jonathan Lim, Happy 17th Birthday. (in advance)
I love you.

I will be seeing you later. *excited.

You wouldn't understand, but it's okay.

el submarino amarillo says:
sej do wat
Yting; says:
3 essays ah
just the struktur
el submarino amarillo says:
why u din tell me
u bugger
Yting; says:
so i guess...points only
hahahahhah
i forgot la dei!
el submarino amarillo says:
BUGGER!
Yting; says:
hanif wan
el submarino amarillo says:
nvm la
tmr then
Yting; says:
YOU LA BUGGER
el submarino amarillo says:
hanif wan weds only got ma
u scared wat
dum bunny
go eat ur carrots
Yting; says:
hahahahahahahahaha
excuse me?And yes, he did draw the carrot in msn. Friends. Lol.


Another one. A whole basket! ;D Just to make me happy and ward away evil evil people. Chongyen, thank yous!

When it started, we had high hopes
Now my back's on the line, my back's on the ropes
When it started, we were alright
But night makes a fool of us in the daylight

I guard you in my silent ways, because uttering my soul's words aloud would make all this more real and transparent.

Remembrance

Meredith: There's something to be said about a glass half full. About knowing when to say when. I think it's a floating line. A barometer of need and desire. It's entirely up to the individual. And depends on what's being poured. Sometimes all we want is a taste. Other times there's no such thing as enough, the glass is bottomless. And all we want, is more.

We, the champs.

“When you're in the tunnel and you hear on the speakers: ‘Please welcome the champions of England, the champions of Europe and the champions of the world...’ you believe that you're going to crush anybody that's in your way. I get goose bumps every time I walk out at Old Trafford.”
Dimitar Berbatov gets the sweetest chill in January

“I’ve been doodling on my pad, trying to see how I can fit all these players in. People ask me what I consider to be my best side, and the short answer is that I don’t have one.”
Sir Alex's oft-experienced selection headache ruins Christmas

Dear Best Friend,

I have so many things i want to say to you that i do not possibly know where i should start. Remember the nights where we watched your favorite dramas and all we did is laugh and cry about the future, the past, and the present? The classic 5am moment when we groaned about our hunger and how absurd it would be to cook instant noodles - yet we do it anyway? We had our fair share of dreams - some reached, others forgotten and we even have our sacred moments of secrets, fears, and stories shared. I had thought i lost you, the other time. I was wrong (thank God); and now, separated by our different vocations(and hectic lifestyle) and countries apart, we struggle to be involved in each others lives. Ours have been one hell of a roller coaster ride, but i am glad i have you still. And for that, i need nothing more.

Big Phang and Little Tan.

Love. There are moments where you feel so bare and naked, it is as if the world has seen you through your bones and there is nothing left to be marveled and wondered at. The intensity of this vulnerability is inexplicable not because the wrong words are chosen to represent this emotion, but because no amount of words could put it to justice. There are moments in love where you give a part of yourself to that other person. How does he handle it, is entirely up to him. You have no control over his choice of actions, no hold in what he is thinking. And vulnerability seeps in. You give this secret part of your soul to him, expecting a clandestine protection. The incessant talks of others do not matter anymore. The hype and speculation of outsiders do not matter anymore. At that moment, only you and he exist. Only you and he understand this sacred connection that nobody else is able to penetrate. But what happens when he spits your trust right back at your face? When gestures are no longer strings of romance and reverence, but one of pitfalls that showcase contempt and forgotten love? When love shows her sinister side and cut us with her sharp edges, do we falter or impenetrate ourselves? It is not easy; this affair of multiple facets, but it doesn’t have to be hard either. At the end of the day, it is the choices we make that staple our thoughts and perceptions, our actions that allow us to learn and eventually grow and move on to a different medium of thoughts. Love? Love is only a small part of it. Love, is every part of it.

7.30pm

He who does not weep does not see

Samantha: [Voice over] Did you ever wonder what it would be like if you weren't you anymore?
If you were suddenly gone, how would your world react?
Whatever you imagined is wrong.
There's nothing romantic about death.
Grief is like the Ocean. It's deep and dark and bigger than all of us.
And pain is like a thief in the night.
Quiet. Persistent. Unfair. Diminished by time and faith and love.
I didn’t know Quentin Fields but I’m jealous of him because I see how his absence has affected the people that did know him so I know that he did matter to them. And I know he was loved.
People say Quentin Fields was a great basketball player.
Graceful. Fluid. Inspiring.
They say on a good night it almost seemed as though he could fly.
And now he can.

Lucas : Have you ever wondered what marks our time here?
If one life can really make an impact on the world...or if the choices we make matter?
I believe they do.
And I believe that one man can change many lives.
For better...or worse.

Essentially & obviously, about
ONE TREE HILL.

Back to basics.

Starting from scratch.

I love. :)
A new edition onto my rack.
The old one is still much loved.
Pink to blue - my perennial love.