Antartica

Sometimes i wake up, thinking i could take on the world and conquer my heart's desires for the day. Sometimes i wake up, thinking i cannot face the world today (not today) - the overwhelming emotion to just hide underneath my comforter brings this inexplicable sadness that i do not want to confront. Sometimes i laugh, for no reason, for a reason, for the simplest and most complex reasons i come up with, i laugh - genuinely, wholeheartedly and blissfully. Sometimes, other times, i plaster a fake smile so that convenient excuses do not have to be made on why it's a bitter day; perhaps, i should start living on a transparency with notes written over it so that i can have some guidance on why, even when i am in a room filled with people, i still feel alienated, i still am an outsider and i still have to live in this bubble of contradictions i put myself in.